Those of us who have been gaming for a few years at this point will doubtless remember the rather puritanical Nintendo of the ‘90s, where we weren’t even allowed to have blood in our violent video games, let alone the slightest glimpse of anything even vaguely naughty. Now, however, Nintendo has well and truly embraced the lewd on the Switch platform — so here are ten of the best sexy games for Nintendo Switch for you to enjoy both at home and on the go.
Gun Gun Pixies (£44.99)
Taking on the role of adorable tiny alien girls Bee-tan and Kame-pon, it’s your job to rediscover the lost art of interpersonal interaction by investigating a women’s dormitory on Earth. Along the way, you’ll need to fend off a surprise invasion by squid-like aliens and uncover a sinister mystery that threatens our heroines’ mission.
Gun Gun Pixies combines 3D platforming, exploration and third-person shooting in its main gameplay, but the highlight of the experience is the ongoing soap opera of the dorm inhabitants’ lives. You’ll get to know the various characters very well over the course of the complete narrative — and you’ll see that life isn’t so simple even for those who might seem to have everything figured out. Plus there’s guest appearances from Neptune and Noire from the Neptunia series!
Moero Crystal H (£34.99)
Genuinely one of the most mechanically interesting dungeon crawlers in recent memory, Moero Crystal H is also a game where you can rub Satan’s belly until she likes you more. If that isn’t enough to sell you on this game, then how about an excellent soundtrack, a huge and varied cast of playable monster girl characters inspired by a range of world mythologies, a massively customisable equipment system, a ton of well-designed dungeons to explore and a sidekick who looks distressingly like a sentient penis? Okay, maybe forget that last one.
Moero Crystal H is joyfully enthusiastic about its own lewdness, but it backs up its sense of fun with rock-solid RPG mechanics and all the depth fans of first-person dungeon crawlers have come to expect from the genre. If you’re a DRPG fan, don’t miss this one.
Gal*Gun 2 (£26.99)
In keeping with the Japanese tradition of inappropriately named sequels, this is the third game in the Gal*Gun series after the original title (returning soon as Gal*Gun Returns, which you can preorder in beautiful collector’s edition form from our online store here) and Gal*Gun Double Peace. It’s a first-person shooter with a twist — rather than mowing down hordes of enemies who want your blood, you’re fending off bevies of beauties who are after… something else.
The work of mechanical masters Inti Creates, Gal*Gun 2 blends elements of adventure game, dating sim and shooter with a surprisingly compelling and highly amusing narrative that will keep you busy for quite some time — especially if you want all your waifus’ phone numbers.
Dead or School (£24.99)
This massive side-scrolling action RPG casts you in the role of Hisako, a young girl who has only ever known life underground, oppressed by the fearsome enemy on the surface. Hisako desperately wants to help humanity fight their way back to the surface so the younger generation can enjoy the experience of life together at school.
Goofy-sounding premise aside, Dead or School is a top-notch action RPG with a wide variety of loot to collect — including melee weapons, machine guns, laser cannons and rocket launchers — plus detailed character customisation and a well-crafted sci-fi story. And Hisako’s clothes fall off if you take too much damage.
Senran Kagura Peach Ball (£24.99)
While hardcore pinball fans are perhaps better served by the more specialist simulations out there such as Pinball FX 3 and The Pinball Arcade, Senran Kagura Peach Ball is a highly accessible pinball game that is very friendly to those who are either new to flipper action — or as incompetent at it as I am. The highly entertaining story modes — which are just as heartfelt as the narratives in the more “mainline” Senran Kagura games — give you a great opportunity to get to know the tables in the game as well as spend some time with a selection from the ensemble cast, while the game as a whole features a ton of longevity through its score attack mode and a variety of unlockables.
Plus it’s hard to turn down a pinball game where you can obtain a huge bonus by hammering repeatedly on a slowly approaching pair of buttocks using both your flippers and the ball.
Kotodama: The 7 Mysteries of Fujisawa (£19.99)
This enjoyable title mashes up adventure game, visual novel and match puzzler, and challenges you to solve a series of intriguing mysteries. Everyone has something to hide, and it’s up to you to find out what; naturally, the most efficient means of doing that is by diving deep into their minds and stripping away the layers of protection around their innermost secrets using your kotodama — the power of words. It helps if you visualise the process. Perhaps, say, by imagining those layers of protection as clothing.
Kotodama’s narrative is thought-provoking and, on several occasions, genuinely shocking. Plus the puzzle game action is a ton of fun — and provides equal opportunity fanservice for those who enjoy getting both boys and girls naked. Yukino is best girl.
Prison Princess (£15.09)
If you enjoy both puzzle-solving and girls with incredibly shapely bottoms, Prison Princess is the game for you, since it’s packed full of both. Taking on the role of a ghost unable to manipulate the environment directly, it’s up to you to help two sassy princesses escape from the fortress in which they’ve found themselves trapped.
Featuring elements of visual novel-style storytelling, room escape puzzle-solving and point-and-click adventure exploration, Prison Princess is a ton of fun that doesn’t take itself too seriously, but nonetheless provides some solid, substantial adventure game action.
Nekopara vol. 4 (£9.89)
Chances are most of you reading this already know all about Nekopara, but on the offchance you aren’t, this is a delightful series of visual novels about patissier Kashou and his attempts to establish himself as a renowned baker of Western sweets in Japan. He is accompanied on his quest by a series of beautifully animated catgirls, all of whom love him a great deal and are happy to express that love in increasingly lewd ways — albeit perhaps not quite as lewd as in the 18+ Windows PC version.
This fourth installment follows the personal story of Kashou as he attempts to figure out exactly how to define himself as a baker — and whether he’ll ever achieve his father’s approval. It also introduces new catgirl Fraise, who is super cute, and gives us an opportunity to see the adult form of Milk, a kitten from previous installments.
Crawlco Block Knockers (£7.99)
This delightfully saucy action puzzler pays loving homage to smoky, sleazy, back-alley Japanese arcades and the sexy games therein such as Kaneko’s classic Gals Panic and Mitchell Corporation’s Gonta the Diver — with a healthy dose of Sega’s Pengo to boot. You, as a lizard-like green thing working a new warehouse job for the first time, are tasked with lining up boxes so they disappear and clear the warehouse floor. But there’s something strange — and oddly lewd — about what lies beneath those floors.
Crawlco Block Knockers provides highly customisable and accessible arcade-style action — including the ability to turn off enemies and play the game as a pure puzzler if you desire. It also has excellent stylised pin-up art and an amazing soundtrack from Opus Science Collective.
Waifu Uncovered (£6.29)
Do you like pretty girls in provocative poses becoming increasingly disrobed as your play session continues? Do you enjoy shooting things, particularly things that look like pairs of big hairy sweaty balls with winking anuses? Then Waifu Uncovered, probably the lewdest game on Nintendo Switch, is the game for you.
The premise of the game is super-silly but the game is actually really solid, featuring attractive artwork, fun and varied character design and a banging ‘80s-style soundtrack. And if you really enjoy the game, there’s actually a £24.99 physical release that comes with a set of shiny, wipe-clean art cards to enjoy at your leisure, as well as a fully uncensored mode that lets you see naughty bottom bits as well as top bits. Truly, Nintendo has changed over the years.
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