The best dakimakura let you spread your waifu’s legs

The best dakimakura are here. Finally, my friends, a new day in waifu tech is dawning. As the End Times draw near, we will be able to spread the legs of our peach-skinned best-girls, maximising both comfort and eroticism.

 

To be honest, I have no idea if these things have been around for years or not. Fact is, this is the first I’ve come across, what is undoubtedly, the best dakimakura tech I have ever encountered. And because it’s the first time I’m seeing it, I am assuming it’s completely fresh news.

 

If it’s not, well… WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?!

 

Lets look at some pictures, shall we?

 

 

Yup, that’s a Y-Shaped pillow case alright! I particularly like the little diagram (top middle) showing how you may like to use said pillow. It’s always nice to have a little guidance when it comes to your first intimate encounter with the waifu of your dreams.

 

Personally, I prefer not to straddle immediately, instead opting for polite and slightly uncomfortable conversation, ideally accompanied with as many bottles of wine as is humanly possible – so that I can’t feel the tears of anguish rolling down my face at 10.30pm when I’m waiting for the bus home.

 

 

The diagram in figure 2 represents the unlikely event that I am invited ‘back’ to the mythical ‘my place’. Four bottles of red wine do not, an attentive lover, make.

 

I am the dissappointer of dakimakura everywhere, preferring to selfishly fall asleep with the back of my head nestled into my Waifu’s crotch, as she forlornly spoons dry coco-pops into her mouth while watching the weekly ominbus of Eastenders – too polite to wake me and send me home.

 

 

This is the last picture. Really don’t know where to go from here. I am a 30-something guy who should know better – and yet here I am making ridiculous blog posts in work hours again when I should be… you know, doing actual work.

 

If anyone in IT decided to look at my search history, I would totally be fired. Pretty much everything I do on a daily basis contravenes the employee handbook and would warrant a verbal and written warning.

 

Living the dream folks! ^_^

 

Until next time.

ILJG xxx

 

PS – if you want one, you can get them here. Or rather you would if they weren’t sold out.

 

Er… or so a friend tells me.

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