An important safety announcement about the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition

It has come to our attention that certain commentators online have accused the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition, available to preorder here, of misleading the public. Specifically, there have been concerns raised that the safety goggles promised within the package are not, in fact, safety goggles at all, and instead look suspiciously like an item of stripy lingerie.

Naturally, we take these concerns extremely seriously here at Rice Digital, and we would like to reassure our audience and customers that we have conducted a thorough investigation into the situation in partnership with our friends at PQube and Inti Creates, with additional independent and impartial insight provided by the Angel Ring Co.

Gal*Gun Returns safety goggles

The Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition safety goggles were tested by all parties under laboratory conditions that recreated a variety of possible usage circumstances. This was to ensure their efficacy in the perilous situations for which they were primarily designed.

We are pleased to confirm that the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition safety goggles are indeed fit for their intended purpose as recommended in the official documentation: volume 6, chapter 9, section 4, paragraph 20. Copies of this official documentation are, regrettably, classified under several territories’ Official Secrets Acts, and thus cannot be released to the public at this time without significant redaction.

In lieu of an official public release of this documentation, PQube has released a video of helpful information to ensure that the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition safety goggles are being used correctly and responsibly, and that owners will be able to enjoy them for their intended purpose for many years to come. The Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition is not just about entertainment, after all — it is also about the important matter of personal safety.

Please pay close attention to the video below and ensure you are following its instructions carefully before raising any enquiries regarding the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition safety goggles.

We trust that this will put an end to any further unsavoury rumours which may be circulating around the Internet with regard to appropriate use of the Gal*Gun Returns Birthday Suit Edition’s included safety goggles. Please be sure to share this video if you encounter any further misinformation online, and direct anyone who expresses an interest in acquiring their own pair of safety goggles to this link.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

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Pete Davison
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