Hump Day Husbandos: Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII)

Hump Day Husbandos

Barret Wallace, my favourite buff dude that has a gun for an arm, is the subject of today’s Humpday Husbandos piece.

Ever since I first played Final Fantasy VII I have found myself having something of a “yearly high” where the game fully occupies my mind, and I love it! After the release of the DLC episode Intergrade, I replayed the main game of Final Fantasy VII Remake, and after completing that I decided to jump into my fourth playthrough of the original Final Fantasy VII. 

Final Fantasy VII is loaded with beautiful fellas: our ever-reliable protagonist Cloud, Reno, Rude, Tseng, Biggs, Rufus, and even big bad SE-PHI-ROTH are all contenders for their very own Humpday Husbandos article — I’m surprised I haven’t gotten round to Cloud and Sephiroth already, so look forward to those!

But today I wanted to focus on a character that always surprises me, and that is none other than Barret. Strap in, because there ain’t no gettin’ offa this train we on!

Humpday Husbandos: Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII)

Who is Barret?

Barret Wallace is one of the main playable characters that make up the cast of both Final Fantasy VII and Remake. He is the leader of one of the many cells of the eco-terrorist group Avalanche, and he, along with his party members operates out of Tifa’s bar 7th Heaven, located in the slums of Sector 7.

Barret’s motivation is made very clear throughout the first chapter of FFVII: he wants to stop the Shinra Electric Company’s gluttonous overconsumption of mako — the blood of the planet — before it’s too late. 

Barret is a tall, muscular, black man who is quite frankly so darn beautiful it hurts! Due to an event in Barret’s past, his right arm was left mangled and replaced with his signature gun-arm, which allows for numerous different weapon attachments. 

Barret is an extremely passionate and righteous person who cares just as much for his teammates as he does his cause as a leader of Avalanche. His passion can sometimes act as a double-edged sword, as Barret finds it difficult to maintain composure when he overhears people bad-mouthing Avalanche — not the best move when you’re a wanted eco-terrorist, but hey, that’s the Barret we know and love. 

Humpday Husbandos: Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII)

Why We Love Barret

After meeting Barret, and coming face to face with his rather rough attitude towards Cloud, it would be fair to have a rather sour opinion of the character. He’s hot-headed, overly enthusiastic, and reckless at the best of times. Throughout the entire Bombing Mission opening sequence of Final Fantasy VII Remake, he is constantly testing you with lines such as “let’s see if you’re the man Tifa says you are” or demanding that Cloud, as a former member of SOLDIER, plants the bomb that will blow up Sector 1’s Mako reactor. 

However, it doesn’t take long for Barret to display just how interesting of a character he truly is. After seeing the aftermath of the explosion, Barret takes up upon himself to shoulder the burden and lighten the consciences of his teammates. He constantly reassures them that what they are doing is just and that the planet — and ultimately its inhabitants — won’t be safe until their work is done.

“Your fears… your worries… your concerns… even your fees. Don’t worry, I got you”. This is the kind of man that Barret is.

Most surprising, however, is what happens upon returning to the Sector 7 slums and meeting a certain little girl named Marlene; she immediately calls out to Barret with the word “Daddy!”.

This rough, war-torn, planet-protecting man turns to complete mush whenever he sees his daughter — the most important person in his life. It suddenly adds something wholesome to his motivations: he is thinking past his own lifetime, and wants the planet to be a safe place for his daughter. 

Humpday Husbandos: Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII)

Why you’ll love Barret

Barret goes through a really interesting character arc that I am massively looking forward to as we progress through Final Fantasy VII Remake’s story — but even within the first part of Final Fantasy VII Remake, we can already see the changes within Barret as he comes to realize just how ruthless Shinra can be.

There are several points in the game where he reassures others that what they are doing is right, but at some points, it really feels like he is also trying to convince himself as well. 

Barret is the natural born leader-type character that voluntarily carries the weight of not only his actions but that of his teammates as well. Midgar is a place dominated by the influence and will of Shinra and it’s only because of someone like Barret, and his unrelenting determination to save the planet, that the story of Final Fantasy VII truly gets underway.

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Conor Evans
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