Shenhe and the 20k Primogem waifu grind

I can’t quite believe it, but here I am talking about Genshin Impact again, all because of Shenhe. This is a game that I imagine many others, not just myself, have had a complicated relationship with due to its fairly relaxing and fun gameplay then they get smacked in the face with its spit-in-the-face levels of bullshit character pulling gacha system.

I started off trying out the game back when it was originally released and liked it quite a bit. Then I tried to pull for a particular 5-star character and came face-to-face with the pointlessness of what I was to achieve. Yet, here I am. Back again — I must be down real bad because these waifus keep on bringing me back.

The emotional rollercoaster

A quick history lesson on my past with this game and my genuinely awful luck. I’m not someone who is against others spending in games like this — as long as you’re being sensible and not spending a detrimental amount of money. If you’re someone who absolutely adores Genshin Impact and you’re in love with the story, its characters, and you’ve invested a ton of time into the game, then you do you and spend some money if you want to! The game is free, after all; if you’ve gained enough fun from it to make you feel like you want to give back and get some waifus in the process, all power to you.

However, as someone who tends to be a bit more free-to-play, I’ve had some of the worst luck. I don’t like to admit it, but back when the game came out I would make multiple accounts in a vain attempt to get Jean — no, I won’t be telling you how many accounts I made, I’ll die of embarrassment. After throwing the game to the wayside after that disappointment, I returned when the 2.1 patch was released and Raiden Shogun appeared — this is around the time that I wrote this article here.

I’ll tell all of you now that the reason I’m still playing isn’t that I had a sudden surge of good luck, because I didn’t — Raiden Shogun is still eluding me and who knows when I’ll get another chance to even attempt to get her. If I’m completely honest though, I didn’t really grind very hard to give myself the best shot at getting her.

Shenhe

Then along came Shenhe… stupid, sexy Shenhe. We as people all have our weaknesses, and mine is any and all waifus that can be classified in one of two categories: milf or onee-san. The power that these two have over me is genuinely overwhelming and it can either be something that dooms me or, in this case, fills me with insane motivational power.

Credit where it’s due, the designer(s) of the characters in Genshin Impact have been doing an amazing job for a really long time now. If you manage to get me wanting to pull for a male character, in this case, Zhongli, then you have done something truly special in my eyes. Shenhe is what would be considered a new form of advanced waifu technology.

From the humble beginnings of Amber’s zettai ryouiki and Lisa having the goddess Tanaka Rie as her JP voice, Genshin has been advancing its waifu game at an alarming rate. Now we have Shenhe, the Voltron or Power Rangers Megazord of waifu features. White hair covering one eye, skin-tight bodysuit that is slightly more transparent around the abs, the top that exposes underboob, EXPOSED HIPS.

In conclusion, the almighty power that is waifus is what spurred me on and I can now confidently say that I am happily storing up around 22,000 primogems — all acquired for free — ready to risk it all come Shenhe’s banner release. I will report back to you all with the good news when I bring her home.

(Some say Conor is still out there, waiting. Come back to us, Conor, we miss you – Ed.)

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