Top 10 gender bending cosplays
It’s been a while since I’ve trawled Google Images in search of the sexiest cosplays I can comfortably view in my work place – so here I am once again, putting my future employment on the line for your amusement and titillation. Ladies and Perverts I give you my ten favourite gender bending cosplays!
*sound of slow, unenthusiastic hand claps*
Dahlsim – Street Fighter
No messing around with this one – Danterona makes a pretty awesome Dahlsim with plenty of impact. Never been a fan of the character as a rule, but this image is pretty badass.
Squall – Final Fantasy VIII
‘Cheer up Squall you miserable sod.’ He’s never been the most charismatic of Final Fantasy leads – and I’ve never been a fan of sullen protagonists. I prefer the perky, up-beat kind of leads – full of chirpy, annoying optimism about the impending shadow of doom, looming over the horizon.
Cloud Strife – Final Fantasy VII (Advent Children)
Here’s an ‘interesting’ fact for you. Every time I type ‘Cloud Strife’ (which is quite a lot when writing about Japanese games is your main hobby) I invariably type ‘Could Strife’ – as though my brain and fingers are wired in such away as to make me have to correct it every damn time.
Fascinating, no? This may or may not be an indication as to why my First-to-Second date ratio is so depressingly abysmal.
*Date goes to bathroom*
Thinks: ‘Wait till I hit her with the ‘Could Strife story!’
*Date never returns to the table*
Luffy – One Piece
This probably would have been better if Nami was a guy – thereby skewing the gender ratio of this feature. If you’re wondering why there are no guys in this feature, then there’s a very good reason for it.
You see, many people in my office are distinctly unpleasant and judgmental – searching for guys dressed as girls in cosplay is a sure-fire way to make my life unbearably miserable. I once had a screen saver of Serial Experiments Lain on my office PC – which somehow reinforced the widely-held belief that I’m just a couple of months off appearing on Crimewatch.
This may make me weak – but you’re not the one who has to work here.
Akihiko – Persona 3, or in this case, Persona 4 Arena
Personally speaking, I’ve found the characters in Persona 3 and 4 to consistently among the best any JRPG has offered in the last 10 years – memorable, well-written and not too prone to cliche. Protein junkie, Akihiko has long been one of my favoutites… apart from in Persona 4 Arena where I find him intensely annoying to fight against.
This version of P4A Akihiko is much more palatable.
Mario and Luigi – Er, Mario and Luigi games
The Mario and Luigi female cosplay is a tricky one for me. Being totally honest here, it’s difficult not to look at a stunningly attractive girl in cosplay without the briefest thought of consensual intercourse flashing through my mind.
But if I think about it – how would sexual congress with a girl dressed as Mario (presuming we’re eager enough not to get fully undressed) work out? On my part, I’m guessing there would be some serious… er… ignition failure. Nintendo’s family values, their purity, their innocence are so entrenched in these characters that such a carnal union would fail miserably – and I’d have to spend the rest of the evening listening to ‘how it happens to everyone’ and that ‘it’s nothing to be ashamed of’.
Next thing you know, she’s phoned for a Taxi home, and I spend the rest of the evening finishing two bottles of wine on the kitchen floor with nothing but the cold light of the fridge illuminating my lonely existence.
Again.
Link – Legend of Zelda
There’s no shortage of pictures of girls dressed as Link – not that it’s surprising in anyway. Not only is he one of the more cost-efficient cosplays but I can totally understand his quiet, unassuming appeal for women. He’s a classic hero, quiet, sensitive and isn’t overly masculine – he’s the perfect unisex videogames character.
Dante – Devil May Cry
Good grief! This is pretty badass. I’ve never had a dream about Devil May Cry – but I’m going to go on a mental cheese binge tonight.
Before bed time, I’m gonna slip into my ultra-sweaty pink leather Hello kitty hotpants – and under my pillow I will put a specially minted coin – both sides of which will say simply – ‘defo‘ 😉
Sol Badguy – Guilty Gear
Don’t know what it is about this photo – but there’s something strangely voyeristric about it. Like that time my mum took some pictures of my sister back-stage during her end of school play – and accidentally caught some of her friends undressing in the background.
We never did find out what happened to those photos…
Er… anyway… if you had to ask me what my most anticipated game was on PS4 – Guilty Gear Xrd would very much be in the running. I am ludicrously excited by the prospect of seeing what Arc can do on next-gen hardware, and every time I watch the trailer, the very physiology of my body changes somehow.
Vega (or Balrog, depending on how much of pain in the ass you want to be) – Street Fighter
It’s almost like Princess Leia in her Gold Bikini! Only sexier! And more lethal! Which basically makes it better in almost every respect.
As an aside, I never quite saw the appeal of Princess Leia in her gold Bikini. She always looked so miserable – and after she’s been lying next to a massive slug with a disgustingly greasy tongue? No thanks.
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