I am a massive pervert. I don’t mean in a grooming-children-while-playing-Call of Duty kind of way. More in the way that I have a certain… appreciation for sexy games and the moe. I feel no shame in browsing Gelboru on public transport. I have four wives. All of them printed on double-sided dakimakura.
Feel the shame welling up inside you as you continue to browse. Secretly feel aroused at the wrongness within. Frantically try to close your browser as your boss enters the office… and remember to remove all traces of sexy games from your history.
This, my disgusting friends, is a guide to my top sexy games for perverts.
Goggles on, perverts! Lets do this!
This is a no brainer. It’s basically a match 3 puzzle dating sim – where you have to woo the ladies by stalking them around town, buying them gifts and chatting them up in bars.
Win enough match-3 puzzle action and you’ll increase your relationship level with them to the point you can take them on dates. Win enough Match 3 puzzles on dates and you get to take them home. Once you get them home you get to Match 3 your way to nudity and er… closing the deal, as it were.
The good thing about Hunie Pop is, well, it’s actually quite a decent game. Beware though, there are two version of this game, a marginally lewd version on Steam and then a REALLY LEWD version that you can buy from placed like mangagamer.com
GAL*GUN DOUBLE PEACE & GAL*GUN 2
Switch, PS4, PC/Steam VR
If you scroll further down this list you’ll find the original Gal*Gun, but since I originally wrote this, two further Gal*Gun games have been released – Double Peace and more recently Gal*Gun 2. These stay firmly in the rail-shooting-against-hordes-of-giddy-girls-vying-for-your-attention genre.
While Double Peace if perhaps seen as the favourite among fans, Gal*Gun 2 is particularly interesting as it ups the visual ante somewhat, is available on Switch and, crucially is also one of the few sexy games playable in VR if you’re so inclined.
If every there was a game that made that headset worthwhile then this is is. Nothing beats DokiDoki mode in VR. Nothing. You can buy it here.
PS Vita / PC/Steam
Okay, hold on to your hats folks, because as sexy games go, the premise of this one is AMAZING.
Basically, you’re on an island with a whole load of other girls. An island where you have to fight a whole bunch of robots and stuff. Mechanically, this is pretty good and a very fun beat em up – but here’s the thing – you have a partner in the game, another girl. This girl also happens to be a super weapon.
The question is, how do you think you get your super weapon to work? How do you make her more powerful? By totally getting it on with her, that’s how.
Lord have mercy – that is one hell of a concept. Teenage fighting lesbian super weapons.
What a time to be alive.
Originally on 360 and PS3 – Atlus’ Catherine has had a much awaited re-release and remaster. One the one side you have a game which is very much narrative driven . As the lead character Vincent, you have to choose between Katherine with a K – who’s basically all about marriage and settling down and responsibility – and on the other hand you have Catherine, the attractive seductive blonde.
The decisions you make throughout the game will affect which direction you take along with a pretty outrageous twist.
In between the, I have to say, gorgeous anime scenes and story bits – you have Vincents nightmares – which play out as challenging block puzzles. It’s an odd fusion of styles, which, somehow, really works. Even if you’re not in it for the sexy games angle, it’s well worth playing regardless!
Love Plus isn’t actually all that pervy on the sexy games scale – it’s just a little creepy. This DS title is probably best described a girlfriend simulator. A pocket girl you can carry around with you and interact with – pretending all the while she’s your real girlfriend.
To begin with you have to court her – there’s a choice of three girls you can go for – and there’s a fairly rpg-like feel to the experience. You can build stats, go on dates and see if you can walk her home. Once you’re with the girl of your choice (triggered by a mutual confession of your interest in each other) the game changes up – and gets even more involving. Unlike Visual Novels – there’s no titillating CG reward.
Instead you can continue to interact with (and touch!) her in real time, tied to a real time calendar, so different events will pop up on the days they’re supposed to. Cleverly, her behaviour will change to match your likes and dislikes.
It’s a shame this has no western release – mainly because, techically speaking it’s very solid is a genuinely interesting game (many RPG’s could learn from it) and is a triumph in elegant design.
HYPER DIMENSION NEPTUNIA
Again – not super filthy in terms of sexy games – but honest to goodness entry level fan service. For those of you who have not tried this series? In a nutshell, it’s the Console Wars made real. Well, I say ‘real’ – a console war where rival factions are actually fighting it out, with characters and worlds being fantasy representations of the real world consoles.
As you’d… er… ‘expect’, each console is represented by a super-hot, boobalicious sex goddess from the planet Pantsu.
As RPG’s go it’s actually not that great – meandering dialogue that doesn’t really go anywhere and, though conceptually, the design is pretty great, it’s all disappointingly menu-driven.
There are plus points. There are a ton of clever references and nods to videogames past and present which are fun to uncover and the battle system is pretty awesome. And when you’re not revelling in up-skirt shots, you can marvel at how such a simple game can have such an appalling framerate.
DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL
Perhaps one of the first sexy games to bring shameless fan-service to mainstream gaming. Team Ninja took the girls from Dead or Alive – decided to just throw away all the rubbish fighting gameplay, strip the girls down to their undies and put them all on a tropical island.
This makes perfect sense to me.
And those who have played this game will understand that… well… that’s not a fair representation of this game. Somehow, somehow Tecmo managed to deliver a game that was about beach volleyball, mini-games, gambling and relationship building into a package that worked amazingly well.
A volleyball game that basically just uses a couple of buttons? Rubbish right? Wrong. It was very well handled, intuitive and excellent fun. Likewise, the relationship building aspect (success in which affects your on court performance) was also subtly handled and proved very compelling.
So yeah, it might seem like it’s just an excuse to get minimum clothing for maximum profits – but against all expectations, this was a superb title. If you’ve never played it because of your pre-conceptions – then just drop it and pick up a copy. Since I originally wrote this article Dead or Alice Xtreme 3 has since been released – and as you can see form the screen above – It. Looks. Gorgeous. Sure it might be a little content light, but goddamn is that game… er… relaxing.
This recently got picked up for a Western release – which I’m very pleased about – not least because both titles in the series, the 3DS’ ‘Burst’ and PS Vita ‘Shinovi Versus’, have proven themselves to be very fun, very accomplished brawlers.
Senran Kagura centers around the concept of two schools – one good, one bad, each full of super-hot girls fullfilling all the usual anime archetypes. Oh yeah, and they’re secretly being trained in ninjitsu.
Nothing wrong with this of course. There’s even less wrong with one of the game’s main features – the fact that as they fight, their clothes get ripped apart until they’re fighting in nothing more than their delicate skimpies.
This is the kind of game feature that I can totally get behind and, as it turns out, all western age-ratings bodies have fully approved of. So everyone’s happy.
It also means that once, just once this year – I will be turning the 3D feature of my 3DS back on. Because… you know…
360 / PS3
You’re a guy in school. Who accidentally gets hit by all of Cupids arrows (bear with me) the affect of which is that every single girl in school totally wants a piece of him.
In a sexy way.
Their raging teenage hormones mean they’re utterly powerless to resist charging at him, giggling and demented – demanding to be taken into the deepest recesses of the school library for some excessive heavy petting.
There’s a problem though. Our hero – that’s YOU – doesn’t want ALL the girls. You’re a picky little douchebag who only wants one of a select few.
SO. What’s a boy to do? Enter some pretty decent rail-gun gameplay – where instead of bullets you’re shooting love to a) keep the girls you don’t want at bay and b) score hits on the girls you want.
Perhaps the most pervy this game gets is where you can enter DokiDoki mode – a kind of special mini-game where you have to touch the girls in all the right places to make sure they’re totally hot for you.
Best of all – Gal Gun, and especially Double Peace is a damn fine game. Solid Rail shooter action but dressed up in a super-moe and outrageously titillating package. So pleased this is getting a western release as it’s totally legit.
The Special Edition of this game even has a pair of panties in the box – because… you know… why not.
Gal Gun: Double Peace, the sequel to Gal Gun, is available to order for the PS4 and PS Vita from the Rice Digital Store.
I’m going to use the ‘but… but… it’s actually a really great game’ defence here, as I frantically rub away at my Vita like some kind of sex-starved lunatic hobo, who’s stumbled upon an old copy of playboy at the side of a railway.
There’s a lot to respect about this title, the unfolding nature of the game which has you physically opening booster packs on the touch screen and the fact that the TCG elements are quite involved, strategic and would hold up regardless of the sexiness.
But you don’t want to know about the pros of this as a stand alone TCG do you? You’re here for the sexy – and it’s here that things certainly get interesting.
Cards that you collect can be powered up in a rather unique way. Unlike games like Valkyrie Crusade, where you evolve or amalgamate cards of like-types. Monster Monpiece asks that you open up a full view of the card you want to power up and then poke and prod at the sexy artwork in the right places to build meter. Once you’ve got them to the appropriate level it’s time to frantically stroke your card to bring them to… er… fruition. Be successful in this rather ridiculous process and your cards will be 1) Even more awesome and 2) even more saucy.
What’s not to like?
DOKI DOKI MAJO SHINPAN
Probably one of the most well known of the sexy games – but not so well played.
Otherwise known as the ‘Witch Touching Game’, Majo Shinpan asks that you ‘investigate’ young girls with the stylus in order to uncover which of them is a witch – just like I do to the clinetele of my local bowling alley after three cans of Special Brew.
In some ways it’s relatively tame – the majority of the time is spent as a visual novel – interspersed with battles against the girls. Once their HP reaches zero, the investigation begins – as you tap and blow on the girl in order to get her agitated or aroused – the point being that she reaches a certain state where a ‘Witch Mark’ is uncovered and you can expose her for the evil sorceress that she is!
Hmmm. In truth Doki Doki is much more tame than people would have you believe – although the mere concept itself is one that should sit uncomfortably with even the most ardent self-confessed perverts.
The Nippon Ichi PSP Dungeon Crawler has yet to surface on these shores – with little evidence to suggest that it ever will, despite being brought to PS Vita. It’s one of those sexy games that’s… er… so borderline that a western release is unlikely.
The concept is simple, you’re a prison warden in a prison for young girls. Only this isn’t your average prison – this prison is in HELL!
It is your role, as a fine upstanding citizen of the underworld, to reform these naughty, naughty girls in the only way you know how – by spanking and otherwise massaging them.
Structurally this is a top down RPG – where you must get the girls to climb a tower and defeat the enemies within. They’re not the most obedient lot and so it’s your task, as warden, to whip them into shape – sometimes being gentle, sometimes being firm.
The battle are unique in that you don’t have direct control over your girls – instead you’re provided with just a handful of options – with more exposing themselves between battles when you take them to the Punishment Chamber to have their skill set levelled up.
I have a pretty high tolerance for terrible games but I make an exception for this one – I’m not going to beat around the bush, this is absolute garbage.
I can’t even begin to tell you what it’s all about, not being able to read Japanese and being only able to tolerate it for about half an hour.
For the sake of this list I went for Love Death 3. You can play in first and third-person views to explore the world.
In a ‘nice’ touch – you can walk up to girls and just remove their clothes. If you like you can click their exposed bodies with the mouse – something that they don’t really seem to enjoy.
Weirdly you can manipulate the shape of their character models whenever you like, changing their costumes and breast size of course.
If you want you can even change their poses, raise their legs and arms (they don’t seem to like this either) which is terribly creepy in an utterly objectifying kind-of way.
Perhaps even more deplorable is your ability to, if you so wish, beat the crap out of the girls and spray them with mystery liquid. As sexy games go it’s firmly in the ‘sexy’ category, but definitely not in the ‘quality’ category.
Hopefully that’s enough of a description to ensure you never feel compelled to play it.
CUSTOM MAID 3D
There’s wrong and then there’s just plain WRONG! I’ve actually covered this previously, and the memory of its wrongness lingers in my brain like some terrible hangover.
This is most notable for the fact it comes packaged with Ju-C air – a plastic peripheral that you insert your penis into so that you can ‘have sex’ with your chosen custom maid.
This stand out feature alone warrants caution. The game itself? Well, it’s a surprisingly ‘deep’ 3D anime girl model editor. You can change almost any and every aspect you’d like, to create your perfect girl – before talking to her, manipulating her, watching her dance for you I’m sure you get the picture.
Think of it as a virtual lap-dance from an 3D anime model, where you can basically alter the setting as you please. This level of customisation even extends to the… er… more ‘intimate’ aspects of the game, which I will leave to either your imagination, or your ability to successfully navigate YouTube’s search function.
Oh yeah, and if you’re so inclined this game is also compatible with Occulus Rift – bringing with it all the benefits of feeling like you’re really ‘there’. If it’s sexy games you’re looking for – then this is next-gen, peripheral based, sexy games at their sexiest.
This feature was brought to you by ILJG who runs the I Love Japanese Games Facebook Page.
His views are definitely not those held by Rice Digital or it’s partners.
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