Getting to the next level in a relationship is a tricky art to master, but the resulting stat boosts make it worth it. That’s why I’m here with this handy guide of love advice to help you S rank your crush, straight from Fire Emblem to you. Let’s get cracking and make Old Hubba proud!
1. Bake them a delicious pie that’s good for them.
So, you want to express your feelings with a gift, but you’re not sure what to get. Flowers? Chocolates? They’re all so cliché, and you want it to be something really special. The solution? Bake them a delicious pie that’s good for the bowels. That way they’ll know you truly care about their well-being.
2. ‘Accidentally’ walk in on them in the bath.
Walk in on your crush in the bath by ‘accident’ and not only do you get an eye at the goods, but you also subliminally implant yourself in their mind. It’s such an embarrassing blunder, you can be sure they’ll be thinking about you in return. If you’re feeling particularly risqué, you can even hang around outside and offer to cool them down by blowing on them when they’re done. How forward!
3. Make a bet that they’re going to fall for you.
This one’s a real win-win strategy. Once the bet’s made, you simply wait for it to happen. If they say it’s not going to happen, you just double-down on your certainty that it will in the long-run. Can’t lose if you never set an end date. Your crush will not only be awestruck by your self-assured demeanour and knack for picking the winning odds, but also by your boundless patience. Who knows? Maybe your endearing stubbornness will even help speed the process along.
4. Stick a mosaic of your crush’s face to something you value.
Doodling your crush’s name in notebooks is so old-school these days. And, after all, what’s the point if they’ll never find out how you feel – that’s no progress at all! Instead, you’ve got to give them a good opportunity to realise you care, like sticking a mosaic of their face to something you value and carrying it with you always. It’s hard to miss and it’s sure to get the conversation started too!
5. Offer to cut off your sword hand to stand near them for an hour.
With romantic gestures, bigger is better, and that includes making it crystal clear just what you’re willing to do to be with the object of your affection. Tell them you’d cut off your sword hand to stand near them for an hour and there’s no way they can’t be blown away by your devotion! If you’re lucky, they might not even take you up on it.
6. Start a wyvern courier service together.
Few things show your devotion to someone like willing to put up with them for your whole life, but what if it’s too soon for a marriage proposal? Simple! Ask them to start a wyvern courier service with you and then you’ll have them fully at your disposal and already in your grasp as a long-time, cherished business partner when the time is right to pop the big(ger) question. Other business ideas could also work, but they’re just not as cool.
7. Train them to eat bear meat.
Achieving an S rank is about sharing both the good times and the hard ones, and few things are harder than learning how to tolerate something you well and truly can’t stand. With that in mind, if you can bring your special someone to tolerate eating bear meat, you can handle just about anything together. Of course, first you’d have to learn how to do it yourself. Otherwise, you could always make it a romantic, shared activity!
8. Cut down their foes one by one.
There’s a fine line between loving partner who would strike down your enemies and yandere who will strike down anyone else that looks at you and it’s an important one not to cross. Make sure you only dedicate your bloodlust to crushing your crush’s foes, stamp them out one by one, and you’re sure to be on to a winning strategy. Who can resist a good fighter with their best interest at heart? Woo them with your battle skills! After all, the couple that slays together, stays together.
Of course, once you achieve an S rank with your crush, that’s it. You’re done for life. So, make it someone good or regret it forever! And, please, think of the children!
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