The fastest route to a Pretty Girl’s honkadonkabadonkers

Here at Rice Digital, we pride ourselves on our exemplary, next-generation investigative journalism, as I’m sure you’re already aware. We strive to provide the most useful, up-to-date information on the video games industry that it’s possible to give you, and with that in mind we present to you our most ambitious work to date: an in-depth investigation of how long it takes to see bare titties in the recently released Pretty Girls Game Collection from eastasiasoft and Funbox Media.

We will, of course, be using the internationally recognised Time ‘Til Titties (TTT) measurement in our investigations today, though do bear in mind that TTT is an inherently variable measure due to disparities in player skill and luck. Therefore our TTT guides below should be taken as a loose approximation rather than a definitive, set-in-stone answer.

But first, the preamble to this important study.

For the unfamiliar, the Pretty Girls Game Collection is a physical Switch release featuring four of Zoo Corporation and eastasiasoft’s highly enjoyable ecchi casual games from the Pretty Girls series, previously available as individual downloadable titles (and previously covered here on Rice Digital). The compilation features Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire, Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire, Pretty Girls Klondike Solitaire and Pretty Girls Panic! — plenty of fun and games to keep you occupied.

The noteworthy thing about this physical release is that it’s different to the digital versions in one key way: it features uncensored nudity. This is down to some sort of shenanigans with the European ratings board PEGI, which makes it possible for Switch games to be released with naked ladies in them in Europe, but not elsewhere in the world. Funbox Media ships globally, though, so if you’re not in Europe and want titties on your Switch, I recommend picking up some of their physical versions — not just of the Pretty Girls Game Collection, but also the two Waifu Uncovered games and Crawlco Block Knockers.

Anyway, we’ve got investigating to do. Frantic, furious investigating until we reach some sort of inevitable conclusion. Let’s get it on.

Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

The Pretty Girls series features quite a few Mahjong Solitaire titles, and this is arguably the best of them. Featuring not only a wide selection of puzzles to solve but also some solid replayability through a timer and scoring system with online leaderboards, Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire is an eminently worthwhile addition to your rotation of casual games.

Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire allows you to play in two ways: the unscored, untimed Easy Mode allows you several “helpers” to avoid getting into a situation where there are no available moves left, while the regular game mode is timed and scored on the understanding that there’s no guarantee the randomised distribution of tiles throughout the various puzzles is solvable. For our investigations, we were playing the normal mode, which involves a certain amount of restarting stages when you run out of available moves.

After extensive investigation, the TTT rating for Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire came out at approximately 57 minutes, just shy of an hour. This is the amount of time it took to get through all of the available stages for the first character in the game, the last of which sees her changing into a topless costume.

Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

Although released later on consoles, this is actually an earlier title in the Pretty Girls series and as such is a little simpler mechanically — it lacks the timer and scoring features of Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire and is also, on the whole, a little easier in terms of the tile layouts you’re challenged to solve.

Once again, though, there’s no guarantee that the distribution of tiles throughout the various arrangements is solvable, and as such you may well find yourself having to restart stages a few times in order to finally make it through them.

After thorough research, the TTT rating for Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire came out at approximately 23 minutes. This is the amount of time it took to get to the third stage of the first character in the game, where she’s wearing shimapan down bottom and nothing up top. Interestingly, there’s another stage for her after that one, but we’re only concerned with TTT right now.

Pretty Girls Klondike Solitaire

This is one of the weaker Pretty Girls titles due to the fact it has a few little bugs here and there if playing on a controller — and, sad to say, these bugs haven’t been addressed for the Funbox version. That said, it still plays a good game of classic Klondike Solitaire (best known to most people as the classic Windows Solitaire) and has plenty of characters and costumes to unlock, as well as three difficulty levels.

Unfortunately, after nearly two hours of exceedingly thorough research, there was no sign of any naked honkadonkabadonkers whatsoever. It wasn’t clear if there simply aren’t any titties in Pretty Girls Klondike Solitaire or if they’re only available for the later unlockable characters, but regrettably we have to say that our results for this title were inconclusive.

Update: Straight from the horse’s mouth, eastasiasoft’s Joshua Michael French informed me that “the last two unlockable girls get fully nekkid”. Now you know!

Pretty Girls Panic!

Since it’s based on Gals Panic, you’d be absolutely correct to assume that Pretty Girls Panic! is very much a game built with the intention of getting its cast naked as soon as possible. Interestingly, the Funbox version is actually superior to the original digital release of Pretty Girls Panic!, not just for the added nudity but also for the quality of the character art. While the original release featured heavily pixelated, low-resolution artwork, the Funbox version features lovely (Delicious!, if you will) high-definition character art.

For the unfamiliar, Pretty Girls Panic! is a game that involves “capturing” parts of an arena by drawing lines from one side to another. Hindering your attempts in this regard are various nasties, in this case represented by various sea creatures, helping to give the game an appealing tropical theme.

As already teased, the TTT for Pretty Girls Panic! was impressively low: just 3 minutes. This was the amount of time it took to clear three stages, by which point the first character had happily whipped her top off and got ’em out for the lads and ladies.

Conclusions

If you want to see titties quickly, play Pretty Girls Panic! — though note that the nature of that game’s progression means that you gradually work your way through a series of girls rather than picking and choosing. As such, if you would like a bit more flexibility in terms of whose boobs you get to see first, plump for Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire.

Pretty Girls Klondike Solitaire remains the weak point in the collection — it’s by no means bad, particularly if played in handheld mode with the included stylus, but its lack of immediate titty gratification and buggy controller support is a bit disappointing when surrounded by the other titles.

On that note, I’m off for a cold shower.

The Pretty Girls Game Collection is available now from Funbox.

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