Leaked photo from Konami 2015 strategy meeting details future plans for Metal Gear and Hideo Kojima

 Leaked photo from Konami 2015 strategy meeting details future plans for Metal Gear and Hideo Kojima

* With Konami preoccupied by an internal scorched earth policy regarding anything that’s even remotely interesting about the company** we managed to get a hidden camera into their 2015 Strategy Day*** – with a view to getting to the TRUTH before they sacrifice the first born of every employee.



Still, look on the bright side. There’s always Yu-Gi-Oh, right?




Did you know I once made up an interesting story about Hideo Kojima having sex with someone in a public toilet.


I think we’re done here.



* If you’re wondering if I took a picture of Hideo Kojima, used the select tool in MS Paint**** to box over his mouth, and then crudely flipped it vertically before adding a tear with the pen tool, then, ‘yes’. Yes I did.

** Please don’t say ‘but, but what about Pro Evo’

*** because we’re guessing this is the kind of thing Videogame Execs do all day.

**** This post was sponsored by MS Paint – the under-appreciated gem of photo manipulation software.


NOTE TO READERS: I actually stole this idea from someone else on the internet, that I saw at around 4.30am this morning on Facebook or Twitter or somewhere, and then was damned if I could find the original picture to post. So then I just ruthlessly re-made it added a Yu-Gi-Oh ‘joke’ and posted it as my own work on Rice Digital.


who made it


Then later I discovered it was Reddit user ‘DaWhiz‘ who is not only funnier than me but, assuming that is his real name, is capable of travelling at greater speeds.


Er… only apparently not. maybe it’s this guy – TortoiseOnTour.

metal gear leak


Look at all those retweets! I guess those are the rich, rich rewards of internet originality! Is he the real creator?



tortoise based IP rage


I’m assuming so – because he’s super protective (and rightly so!) of his quality internet joke. In fairness, the joke was actually pretty funny. Funny enough for me to duplicate it, with, on the evidence of this – significantly less success. I should also point out he made another very funny joke where he writes the words ‘Fuck You’ in the Konami logo.


Here it is:





So, I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here today. I’m not sure what that lesson IS exactly…


‘Don’t steal internet jokes’ ?!


Yes, I think that’s it. Great! Well, it’s been emotional. And this news piece didn’t turn out the way I expected it to at 2pm yesterday. But that’s cool.


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